Leading with Curiosity
Lately I find myself wondering what might our world look like if we all lead with curiosity instead of the assumptions and misperceptions that seem to be at the forefront of our interactions these days? We seem to be stuck in the binary world of right and wrong, liberal and conservative, and those that belong and those that don’t belong.
We seem to have lost interest in learning about each other, finding it easier to stand firm in our righteousness and our need for certainty. What if instead of making assumptions about others based on how they look, who they associate with, or where they live, we asked open ended questions and got curious about who people really are and let them reveal themselves to us? What might we learn about them and about ourselves?
One of the most powerful experiences I’ve had in my life came when I set aside my need to prove my opinions and beliefs were the right ones and allowed someone with a vastly different worldview tell me his life story without interruption. As he spoke, my heart opened and although he had a very different background and lived experiences than I did, what struck me were the similarities in our stories. I felt great compassion for this man who had suffered, struggled, loved, and lost. His passion for his higher power shone through and although it manifested in different ways than mine did, I could appreciate how it was central to his life.
Once he finished sharing his story, I asked if I could share mine and he obliged. He met my careful listening with his own, and I felt heard. I don’t know if he understood my experience, but I did feel respected. Our ability to let go of righteousness and meet each other as human beings was profound. This experience continues to shape my life in many ways since that interaction.
What I learned is that curiosity often means active, compassionate listening. It’s a quiet wondering, a willingness to be open to surprise, mystery, and the divine that connects us all. At its core, its a desire to set aside our need for certainty. When we open to curiosity the world and everything and everyone in it opens up for us, and we open our hearts and minds in return. I’ve also learned that curiosity is contagious; the more curious I am, and the more I nourish it, the more I move through the world in open wonder and curiosity. I wish the same for us all.